archive

in this sacred place we collect all the wonderfull photographies that would have been lost otherwise... feel free to look at them but DO NOT touch them. they are extremly antique and delicate (we have to keep them in a dark place because the slightest touch of sunlight would turn them to dust.) thank you so much dear webmaster for these breathtaking semi-weekly (more like monthly atp lmao) images!

15.02.24

this months image might make you feel calm...and collected. or revitalized with the thrill of battle i mean idk you man. quite the mysterious show down, the only thing i know for sure is that it takes place somewhere in the czech republic and that the composition and mood are on POINT. that being said i can hear the roaring sound of waves crashing against the bow of my ship as i cross the atlantic. two wikipedia biographies lay open on my phone, jason citron and stan vishnevskiy, you will be dealt with

02.01.24

This months image is sponsored by nui! (again) and depicts me (nui) at my desk as vinnie vincent (the evil dictator of this website) tells me that tiktok references are not allowed in the image of the month after i make the worlds best funniest description. His cruelness is beyond me. Is there no joy in his heart? He laughed at my despair too. This isn't even my job i'm just an unpaid secretary. What kind of a surveillance state is this place. BOOOOOO tomato emoji tomato emoji tomato emoji

03.12.23

this months image is sponsored by nui! who provided the image and text. it depicts a forlorn seahorse in a sea of black, shriveled and contemplating as the ever watching blank eyes of the still fish behind it stare knowingly, always watchful, always judging. the seahorse lies unmoving, ever thinking. he reminisces on his kin, cruelly ripped away from his grasp by the palm of black he lays upon. deep regret saddles him and he dare not move a muscle for the black palm could do much worse than simply remove him...

04.11.23

this months image depicts a rather dystopian landscape with a tesla and two wild hogs engaging in a beautiful display of affection. but what if this is too much? too much to think about (those images go together so well its scary in a way). so to distract you (the viewer) from the uhhh possibly DISTURBING contents of such a thing i added a picture of my chill skeleton ashtray holding not one but two cigs at once as a distraction. consider this a gift.

03.10.23

this months image were staying within the genre of old YouTube with this classic picture of Angry Video Game Nerd sitting in his palace. not sure why exactly this image speaks so much to me but like yeah no actually, it makes perfect sense as we are birds of a feather. i would be amazing at being a character in a 2010 gamers sitting on couch 4 panel comic with an unfunny punchline. i was born in the year of the gamer after all... too bad i lost my nostalgia critic hat that thing really pulled it all together

01.09.23

this months image is another historical classic bestowed upon ye by my humble grace. i actually learned to speak english through videos such as NERD VS GEEK RAPBATTLE and WILL IT DEEPFRY? a few years ago, I painted a face which i hated so i punched a hole in the canvas as to hide the hideous visage, then i glued this very picture behind it so they peeked out at me. it was pretty raw. it hung on my wall up until 2 weeks ago when my parents emptied my old room since i moved out

04.08.23

this months image asks the viewer a daring question (in albeit a bit of an aggressive way). glunch yes or no?

a delicious treat,
so shiny and glunch,
would surely make for a tasty munch.
in times of famine,
in times of need,
if glunch is present,
from hunger were freed!

but some dumbass picky imbeciles didnt get the message i guess. tch.

01.07.23

this months image depicts no other than nikocado avocado trapped in some sort of purgatory esque aztec nightmare dimension. possibly being tortured for eternity as divine punishment for his greed and gluttony. I am genuinely convinced that he truly is one step ahead of us at all times, like no joke hes a youtube mastermind or something like an impish trickster deity dead set on self destruction. this image is a bit of an old timer too. I found it a few years ago in the catacombs.

01.06.23

in this ~~weeks~~ months thought provoking image is... drumroll... hideo kojima lovingly gazing upon a blunt. one might even argue that he looks proud? i suppose whatever Konami intern that rolled it will not be expelled from the premises this time! lucky! id be mesmerized by the craftsmanship as well if i was in his position it is quite awe invoking lets put it that way. anyways uh... snake eater remake? am i right? news. (i already have it for the 3Ds...)

01.05.23

1n this weeks display of utter epic style badassery we may gaze upon this absolute legend of a man. (?) idk he has an axe which is pretty cool. id say he seems pretty trustworthy overall. also im very thankful, for he is keeping this spooky gate! who knows what horrors might linger on the inside... just kidding... obviously he is protecting the thing inside from the true danger (me). im absolutely fucked up on yakult rn idk man idk the lactose demon will come get me soon

19.04.23

this weeks image is meant to be of the educational variety. think deeply, try to remember. have you ever seen this animal out in the wild? you likely answered with YES since this is no other than a dangerous, parasitic, invasive species. feeding on its surroundings and the very soil it infests like a fungal pest. now, i know how inviting its intestines look, do NOT try to climb and swing on them monkey style thats precisely how they get you. trust me. had to learn the hard way.

07.04.23

this weeks image showcases one of the most brutal showdowns of roblox history. evil shadow skull vs silly ghost. the unstoppable force vs the immovable object. beckoning the questions, what is a god to a nonbeliever? why must we fight? hasnt there been enough carnage? (we were playing a super shitty game that was bugged so i had infinite ammo + crazy aim and my friend hyper armor for some reason and couldnt be hit lol)

12.03.23

this weeks image is hurricane matthew peeking cheekily into the camera. i could make a whole paragraph about how much i relate to this image on a physical as well as personal level and how its sometimes the furthest things from a living creature that depict emotion the best (besides rage comics). but. i wont. there are more dire matters at hand. cause why on earth did they name this fucking thing matthew. was gilgamesh ravager of blood hail to frightening to the locals?

20.02.23

this weeks image is a blast from the past and an accurate depiction of my inner most thoughts and feelings. i highly recommend opening the image in a new tab or even downloading it to keep in your inventory for yourself. i very vividly remember explaining the concept of rage comics to my dad on a forrest bike trip when i was 11 years old. i dont think he really got it, his favorite meme from back then was moonmoon the wolf tho. (does anyone remember that?) good times. (im lying)

05.02.23

this weeks image is 0_0... as a kid i used to be pretty scared of nuclear annihilation through a bomb or broken reactor or something because we read a book about it in school. i basically shat myself that was so stressfull bruh. anyways if the explosion looked ast me like that i probably wouldnt be that mad. like okay hes embarassed and doesnt even know whats going on i guess i cant blame him. i guessss its okay. just dont let it happen again. smh.

20.01.23

this weeks image is of smart manul cat.
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09.01.23

this weeks image should be pretty relatable to all of us who love dungeon crawling and ignoring the "do not enter unless you wish to suffer a most horrid fate" sign infront of the forbidden woods, rascal that you are. found this dope ass challice with an alluring aura there last week. kinda awesome. might fuck around and have a sip of its dubious red liquid that keeps filling up on its own again everytime you spill it. stay tuned for updates

28.12.22

this weeks image is also late. i was busy being chased through the townsquare by an angry mob weilding torches and pitchforks yelling "AWAY AWAY" and "DIE YOU PLAGUE RIDDEN RAT". my bad. to celebrate i took the gang to mc donalds. if i worked there and saw these mfs pull up i think i would be too overwhelmed with conflicting emotions to move and just start shaking. and then drop their fries like a bumbling fool. shrug. i like the mcdonalds shrimp hbu guys?

15.12.22

this weeks image of the week which is late as always is... another leak of yours truly. this fine gentleman is no other than the one running this site. vinnie webmaster LP. ripped asf, totally BADASS. awesome fucking sword. (hiding my face for privacy reasons, they would scan it and compare it to the government databases im in to find my location). the picture behind me is of my beautiful queen wich i protect by completely devoting myself to the blade.

04.12.22

this weeks image isnt particularly funny or humorous and im assuming it wouldnt classify as a meme but its still pretty appealing to me. it has sort of a dream like quality to it like idk whats going on. pretty cool tho. i wonder who made it and with what intention. if it turns out to be one of those liminal space nightmare sleep paralysis core web pilled pinterest aesthetic collages im gonna be real mad tho. disappointed even. i believe in you!

25.11.22

oh THAT'S GIANT CORPSE THERE IS A 20 FOOT TALL, STILL TWITCHING CORPSE OF AN UNKNOWN HUMANOID SPECIES RESTRAINED HALF A KILOMETER DEEP BENEATH uncanny valley neocities website HEADQUARTERS IN dicknballsstadt, east germany PERFORMING THE CALCULATION WORK OF 150 SUPERCOMPUTERS (i had to get a replacement since im busy with 3D modeling a horse riding a medieval knight bike for uni and need a new webmaster)

16.11.22

this weeks image reminds me of a river near my village i used to play at often. i found a cow skull there once and wanted to bring it home but when i came back it was gone :/. also there are american signal crayfish there (wich are an invasive species btw) and i wanted to catch and eat them soooo bad i did tons of research about catching/ preparing them but my dad wouldnt let me... i need to hunt dad I NEED TO FISH tsk.. whatever you wouldnt get it..

07.11.22

this weeks image depicts two funny dogs in a humorous manner wich may make you giggle. you see one of them asks the other why all his patients (he is a doctor... lol.. studious dog..haha) die in a gruesome way. the other responds with "blehhhhh :P" hehe....haha. Honestly quite incredible . if i do say so myself. my personal theory is he eats them but thats none of our business! let the man have some privacy for gods sake ... always nagging

31.10.22

this week i present to you an image of your average slavic lad in his humble private domicile, drinking juice and partaking in "gaming" activities! what is he playing? ohoho... ohehe upon closer inspection it happens to be dark souls 3... wich is a game i was thinking about a lot while being tortured by overwatch2, wishing i was playing it instead. sorry viewers i had to break the immersion there for a sec. at heart, i am a hater first. and a performer second.

20.10.22

this weeks hand crafted image showcases a prime specimen of a blissful sausage wich i recently acquired at a pet store. i find it fucked up that for no more than 2.50 doubloons a dog can chew on such a work of art. why cant i? why are they keeping these things from us? humans get to manufacture and sell them but they are just out of reach. so close yet so far. i decided to break this cycle by giving in to temptations and buying sleeping snoozing wiener

13.10.22

okay yeah this weeks image may be extremely late but listen! i was very busy building 47 miniature haunted houses (no i wasnt i was kinda just chilling. sorry for lying to you many many times.) anyway... this knight looks pretty sad sort of boo-womp sound effect adjacent. not sure what happened to him maybe his loyal steed left him or maybe he is also sad that this image of the week is 7 days late. (guys awesome idea! what if.... image of the year? haaa?)

30.9.22

this weeks image is this GRAPHIC and MESSED UP depiction of a dismembered CORPSE. just kidding you guys... it may look shocking at first glance but this talented young gentleman is simply doing a trick wich involves removing most of your limbs! thumbs up! quite impressive. pretty difficult to pull off also, he lost part of his foot while practicing. so dont try recreating this at home unless youre really skilled! lest bad things shall happen... ... .........

21.9.22

this week i present to you an image i just keep coming back to. ive pulled out my phone to show it to people irl multiple times and i sent it in pretty much every discord server im in. it just fills me with this indescribable urge to share it with people. im starting to suspect it might be some kind of brain manipulating virus that takes control of your thoughts to spread it everywhere..but that would be silly...ha...ha...heh.hhh (sorry i stacked them)

11.9.22

this weeks images is stuck : ( he is stuck guys. horse. i have shared my opinion on horses (hilarious) a couple of times before on this website so no need to repeat myself. either you get it or you dont. matter of fact if you dont get it, LEAVE. the door is wide open. open to you haters. a beautiful stallion trapped in a cruel, human-made contraption. happens so often nowadays the general public is desensitized to such horrors.
someone help this loyal steed in need. his face: 0_0...

02.9.22

this weeks image is of me, the webmaster, relaxing in my natural habitat. yes its true... this is a face reveal. (wich is not fake!) this is me! i am depicted nonchalantly as always. not a care in the world. just doing my thing etc. dont mind the fact that my leg is cut off that doesnt concern you. but very soon i will have to build myself a new empire because i am moving out next week (ish)! everyone cheer and clap please. do it.

24.8.22

this weeks image is sad spongeboob in a black void with the caption "but the Lord laughs at the wicked. for he knows their day is coming. - Psalms 37:13". now i would like to know if its spunchbob saying that or if its him reacting to it and the void is the one saying it. kind of assuming its the latter since the little sea critter looks quite disturbed. Hes pretty wicked tbh. Somewhat twisted also.

13.8.22

this weeks image is a zombie spider covered in fungus (yass). We have lots of these in our basement so this image really reminds me of my childhood. One time the basement got flooded and my dad put me in a big bucket and sent me into its dark and soggy depths. You may be surprised to hear a bucket doesnt work well as a boat and it quickly filled with water and dead slugs. was quite terrifying, good times (thumbs up)

04.8.22

this weeks image doubles as a public service announcement! stop and THINK! next time you go out to drink your quirky beverage ask yourself: is it worth it? every day these poor and innocent peace loving creatures are hunted for their eyeballs. and for what? so that your milk tea can taste like ouuuuhhhhh aouhhhhhh? if your answer to that is "yea tapioca yummy" then you truly have no compassion, let alone a soul. just look at him.

26.7.22

this weeks image features a handsome anteater lad sitting on a laptop cheeky style. this picture has a very strong 2005 energy ...something about that color scheme. im pretty sure i looked at this guys neocities page before (it had a y2k old web asthetic and an impressive amount of southpark shrines.) left a message in his guestbook for him. anteaters arent allowed to have electronic devices tho so hell probably be executed soon

17.7.22

just on time i present to you this weeks image: a harsh world with an innocent puppy child frolicking and munching on a yummy lollipop. Upon closer inspection hes is wearing a minion shirt! right on. he knows whats up. im actuallly not sure what game this is from (FAKE GAMER ALERT FAKE GAMER ALERT *they break into my house as a siren rings to take me and throw me into the nearest pit never to be seen again*) fuck uhhh whos going to update this page now that the webmaster suddenly and mysteriously disappeared ? taking applications now

10.7.22

this weeks image is super late because i couldnt find a good one! Believe it or not but working at the jpg mines daily is a difficult and exhausting job wich is not always fruitful. this cute monkey with a snowball isnt exactly up to the standard either but alas. not every image can be a winner. sending thanks to my friend for providing me with this monkey. monkey ball. its so light you can barely see it, seems like this little guy is trapped in some kind of empty white mirror dimension without a sense of direction or goal exept make ball.

26.6.22

this week i present you: car rays. i like how ambiguous this image is or maybe im just not smart enough to fully analyze it. i can feel there is a deeper meaning. the masses struggle as the freshwater stingray thrives. chillin with their buddies in the tub. moisturized etc. you can tell its a freshwater ray because theyre round like a pancake. (giant freshwater stingray may be the worlds largest freshwater fish btw they found a HUGE one a week ago) pretty awesome thumbs up

19.6.22

this weeks image does not fit the official image of the week(tm) criteria but i shall make an exception because knights have i mentioned that knights with armor and uhhh historically accurate knights fantasy knights are good too even better one might argue. when the the the swords and stuff. knight stuff . hellebards even. when i was a wee lad i was at the town castle thing and i stared at an oil painting of a dude in black armor (quiet beserk fans this does not concern you) and my parents had to physically pull me away ok onto another topic: knights with cool swords. honest opinion? pretty epic and i have normal feelings regarding them.

7.6.22

this week i present you: an image of a rat king in a jar. this is a rare phenomenon where rats get intertwined at their tails and believe it or not the largest and only mummified rat king consisting of 32 rats was found in the town i grew up in. and its basically the only thing it has to offer ^_^ i looked at it many times in the museum as a kid it sure does consist of rats! and oh boy are they mummified! Actually based tbh

28.5.22

this weeks image is a 100% authentic depiction of me taking a bath. (Gentleman style). yes this is truly something that happens a lot in my house i love products such as soap and uhh conditioner. for conditioning my italian leather shoes. only thing i dont enjoy as much is the fact that i have to get my wristwatch fixed every time it gets water damage. though it is a small price to pay for the ability to track the hours ive spent in this pleasant bubble soup ~

4.5.22

this weeks image is this AI generated thing. its very thought provoking. funny how a computer can create a depiction of such a visceral emotion. i probably couldnt. the way its staring into nothingness with its human eyes. yea. real asf. also whats that thing on its back? a backpack ? a tumor ? who knows. i hope someone makes an AI generated animated show or something one day thatd be absolutely horrid.

27.4.22

this weeks image is honestly just pleasant. its so cute it makes me want to smash my head in with a hammer. that seal.... looks so adorable.... ... eugh.... grah. GRAHHHHHHHHH actually it’s painful i will never get to pet a seal cause like... i'll probably never even see one irl. thats so fucked up tbh. its like i can feel it. i just know it would be awesome . how do these things even exist they look so fake. like how are they alive

18.4.22

this weeks image may be new to you but is a classic to me. Chuckle worthy indeed. i have had this picture as a widget permanently on my phone for over a year now and im still not tired of it tbh. never will. basically horses are fucking hilarious. easily amongst top 10 funniest animals and im passionate about it too i keep talking about it to my friends and family. horse. horses.

11.4.22

dapper lad if i do say so myself. not the first time we featured a fancy animal as the image of the week AND IT WONT BE THE LAST EITHER. as a kid i used to be scared of catfish because they sometimes eat people. id be ok with it if he ate me though. i think hed be very respectful and polite about it and use a fork and napkin. kinda looks like tahm kench also... but tahm kench would be more rude i think

4.4.22

guys :0 its its its metamorphosis ! kafka!!1! i think its funny how everyone on the internet is obsessed with that book i bet they didnt even read it. i mean hell i didnt read it either lol but this image probably has nothing to do with that anyway. great picture i must say. the way hes just laying there helplessly. bug. awesome. i think this is going to happen to me within the next few months. im pretty sure.

30.3.22

der Amorphus globosus (gr. αμορφή amorphē ‚gestaltlos‘ und lat. globus ‚Kugel‘) ist eine in der Tiermedizin, besonders beim Hausrind vorkommende Fehlbildung. Anstelle eines normal entwickelten Fetus kommt es dabei zur Bildung eines von behaarter Haut überzogenen, mehr oder wenig kugelförmigen Gebildes das Anteile aller drei Keimblätter enthält; die Differenzierung seines Inhalts kann dabei stark variieren. Ein Amorphus globosus ist mangels funktioneller Organe nicht lebensfähig.

18.3.22

this weeks image is this depressed looking poo. it sums up my feelings regarding this creature pretty well bacause everyone in grade school was playing poo and dressing it up in little pirate costumes or whatever but my parents didnt let me because they said "poo is going to rot your brain". not letting your child play poo should be legally classified as abuse tbh.

6.2.22

this weeks image is this well mannered gentleman. a dapper dog. (there is a character called dapper dog in that one show uhhh i forgor) anyways... im loving the fit. he looks a bit shy but there is no need to be since everyone admires his fine taste and sophisticated look.

28.1.22

this weeks image is this whimsical wizard. now let me tell you this pic goes hard. raw even. as any wizard image does of course. i had an incredible collection of them last year but they’re all gone (comparable to the loss of the library of Alexandria when it burned down).

14.1.22

we had some technical difficulties (im lying) so there was no image last week. but this week i present to you: this fuckingggg pyramid head some girl made in my pottery class???? why are his boobs like that. idk when i saw it part of my brain collapsed like i lost a synapse or something.

archive of former images of the week